The monkey made me do it

moldy blog alert

I have to admit something. I've had another blog. All this time, this blog has been the offshoot of the other, older, more ex-boyfriend-inspired page (he convinced me to start it and wouldn't let me get by with my "blogs are for dorks" reasoning, which I believe is still accurate but I'm getting to be okay with the dork-ness). It hasn't been updated since the end of the boyfriend experience, but I just realized that it has all sorts of other writing on it that shouldn't be left on the big wide internet all by itself. Most of the good stuff I've already brought over, but the previous post was from a while ago and the remainder of this one is old. Old old old. Decrepit. AND from the other blog. I'm feeling e-guilt. But the new job and bio page angst got me thinking about job histories and such and I realized that I don't think I've posted the full career path I've traveled. And it's a good one...

(this part is the blatant stealing from my past self)

For your collective entertainment, here is the first ever unabridged work history of the me:

age 13: Rabbit judge at county fair (who rocks?)

age 14: Chair setter-upper and taker-downer at same fair

age 15: Sausage Girl at fair Sausage Haus (shut up)

age 16: Cashier at Jack-in-the-Box, player of headset hide-and-go-seek with friends who also worked at the aforementioned establishment

age 17: Cashier and Drive-Thru at Wendy's, where I worked with the mother of a friend of mine and bonded rather disturbingly with her over fries and chili (DO NOT EAT THE CHILI)

age 18: Wildland Forest Firefighter 2, after my father sent me to interview for a dispatcher position. I was more interested in running around with axes. He wasn't happy with my redirection but eventually was won over. Firefighting is a family business - my father was a forester who runs some fire management teams in the summer, my older sister was a radio dispatcher (as was her husband), my younger brother was part of a trail crew in Eastern Washington for four summers during his schooling.

age 19: ditto, but as crew on a 2-person engine this time, prompting snarky remarks about me and my boss using the hose in improper ways (not true, he was rarely showered and countryfied)

age 20: Wildland Forest Firefighter 1, with my very own fire engine that I drove home every night and parked in my parent's driveway. It had a backup beeper and a giant diesel engine that growled like a loud, congested tiger. I was not popular with the neighbors when called for those 3 a.m. fires. I also had a crew, a very nice boy named Jason who was 18 and married and put up with me well. We won the district "rodeo" that year, totally kicked ass in the timed trials and driving competition. I built a contraption to carry our spare pump that revolutionized the hose-lay section of the competition. I am kind of a nerd.

age 21-26: Props artisan (sculptor, painter, carpenter, jack-of-all-trades) for various places. Theater during the fall-winter-spring, commercial and festival work for the summers. Also periods of temping as a receptionist when freelance work didn't come through.

Since then (many of these overlapped):
Appliance salesperson at Sears (why? still trying to figure that out) - left this position to pursue something less scary and competitive. They would stalk people and often fought over customers when stainless steel appliances were at stake.

Shoe salesperson/marketing assistant/promotions for dance shoe place that also sold stripper shoes and clothing meant for no decent human being. The good part was that I got to salsa dance for free at every local event, the bad part was that the boss was verbally abusive and dumb as a sack of hair

Clothing salesperson at high-end clothing store in the Westlake Mall - fired for being oblivious while a woman was trying to rip us off. Lost a $100 shirt in the mayhem she caused and they let me go over it (for the best, believe me! Too much turquoise for my sensitive eyes)

Dance instructor at big dance place in Bellevue - let go after training was completed due to major budget issues and their sudden realization that they could only afford one new instructor (the other girl was adorable and more cheerleaderish than me, in a good way)(she also had the best stories about the times she'd been "roofied" at parties and ended up in strange places)

Clothing salesperson at preppy clothing store in Pacific Place - why do I keep trying sales, you ask? Because they keep freakin' hiring me, no other reason. I am a horrible salesperson to large groups and am far too easily distracted to keep track of the ten customer I am supposed to be serving. I would typically have one excellent sale per day with emotional bonding and business cards exchanged, but one sale was not enough (plus I felt guilty pushing the credit cards). I was released after the holidays, luckily before their summer clothing came in (TURQUOISE - what is with that?! No one looks good in it and I refuse to tell them otherwise)

Mural painter for my sister and my parent's church. I have done a Noah's Ark room, a Jesus-walking-by-a-river-with-kids room (I made Jesus Arabic-looking, it was a minor scandal), a baseball stadium full of fans, some roses, and last weekend I did some angels for my niece over her bed. They are not Arabic-esque (hah! obscure music funny!), though one sort of unintentionally resembles Cindy Crawford sans mole.

(age 28) Model builder for my ex-college, which ended badly (I don't wanna talk about it)

(age 28) Drafter for that silly exhibit design firm I used to freelance build and paint for in the summers I didn't do theater. They were very excited at first about all the things they would use me for, but after building one model all I did was AutoCAD (I like CAD, but am also too ADD to do any one thing for that long!). They hired two more people after me who had much more experience, then laid me off as soon as things slowed down a bit. I was relieved, honestly.

(age 29) Freelance design assistant for an ex-teacher architect friend. Drafter, drawer, but mostly drafter and wall off of which many ideas were bounced. I spent time contacting many manufacturers and getting pointless samples shipped to us when work was slow, and learned far too much about his personal life (the office was in his house, right next to his bedroom).

(age 29-30) Interior designer for my parents and Gloria, neither of whom really consider me to be completely a grown-up. Many ideas were accepted, but many more were argued exhaustively and then discarded. I'm trying to be zen about the whole thing, but there are still a few house parts in both projects that make me sad inside (I'll get over it).

(age 30) Now I'm doing honest-to-god exhibit design, with a dash of interior and scenic thrown in. And I get medical benefits for the first time in a long time and maybe even a cushy ergonomic chair if I play my cards right (I've been leaving catalogs open around the office and clearing my throat a lot).

posted by LadyJay @ 3:13 PM