I just thought I should tell you before I go that you are truly the only thing I will miss about working at this corporation. Oh, the people are nice enough and the job is not as bad as I initially thought, but the only thing that gives me true joy and keeps me coming back here day after day is the chance that I might use you to smack your bright red COPY across a random document. On every page, strongly parallel to the edge, just in case there is any uncertainty.
I've been thinking about you a lot, and I don't think it's your text that draws us together. You could say "PAST DUE" or "SIGN HERE" or even "CANCEL" and I would love you just the same. It's the color, the way each stamping seems to contain everything from a strong, cheerful exuberant red to a darker, melancholy hue (depending on angle of approach and duration of stampage), and the solid all-caps sans serif font that screams "I AM IMPORTANT, AND NOT AN ORIGINAL". You're the best non-original ever.
Also, the re-inking thing is really cool. I'm sorry about testing your inking prowess by stamping that page a hundred times in a vaguely floral pattern. I didn't know you well enough to trust you then.
Maybe I can liberate you when I leave, bring you to my house and allow you a place of honor perhaps on top of the bookshelf so the Monkey-dog doesn't eat you or chew on your perfectly-fitted plastic cover. But I am afraid that my lack of a copy machine (and thus, copies) would make you feel useless and fall into a stamp depression, and I would have to resort to using you on non-copied material and make you question your very identity. No, it is best that you stay here where you are needed, if under-appreciated.
I will simply tell you now that you are the light in my cubicle, you are the marking object of my dreams, and I will be praying that your next user doesn't ever leave your protective cover off and never once uses you upside-down (sorry about that, by the way - I was young).
With a tear
and a hug
and a prayer for your future,
Janelle
posted by LadyJay @ 8:40 AM
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