The monkey made me do it

Instant Reminder of Inherent Dorkiness

Monkey and I went to the off-leash park in Genessee yesterday for a little exercise. Exercise for both of us, since she refuses to bring a ball the entire way back to me (though her fetching is enthusiastic at first, she is easily distracted). Not even halfway most of the time. Most "fetches" are her sprinting to the ball, MAYBE picking it up with her mouth (sometimes just nudging it with a delicate paw), and then dropping all interest as another dog/bug/blade of grass nearby does something far more exciting. I get a lot of walking when we go to the park.

I have a chuck-it (http://store.yahoo.com/tailsbythebay/chuckit.html), not because she needs to fetch at a distance further than my arm can throw, but because I have seen where those tennis balls have been and am not inclined to touch them with my hand unless absolutely necessary. I am a self-ordained master of the chuck-it and have, after three years of almost constant use, developed a back-spin, curveball, and can hit targets from quite a long way off. One must stay entertained when one's dog takes half an hour to remember that she was supposed to be fetching something. Apparently, my chuck-ego had gotten a little too large for the gods-of-chuck yesterday, and they decided to extract a very interesting revenge on me in the form of a tennis ball that, while at first glance normal-looking, had a rip in it that made it compress to a non-standard size and therefore rendered it unchuckable.

I lowered the chuck-it and picked up the subtly defective evil ball. I cocked my arm back and threw what I thought was a medium-long toss to the waiting Monkey, the plastic curving up behind me in a graceful backswing. Monkey started her run and then stopped when she didn't see the ball, turning towards me with a confused look. I gave her one in return, then realized what had probably happened and looked up just in time to see the ball angling straight down at my head. I made the most ungraceful dodge I'd ever done in my entire life and staggered up to see Monkey laughing her dog-laugh at me and the nearer dog owners trying to mask their smirks within concerned glances.

I smiled and waved like Miss America.

posted by LadyJay @ 2:20 PM