The monkey made me do it

She's gone all domestic on us

Tonight I'm going to go home and bake pumpkin bread with cranberries! This will be the 7th and possibly 8th pumpkin cranberry loaf that I have baked from the same recipe in the past week. Fixation? I like to call it certainty of preference when it comes to holiday-themed baked goods.

Actually, I didn't really get to eat any of the original six. The first three I baked on Wednesday night. The edges of the loaves burned a little and made them look awful (though the insides were fine). I paced the kitchen for a while, trying to think of a way to salvage them without cutting the edges off - so tacky! So easy and logical! I tried using a fine grater to scrape away the burnt part, and only succeeded in giving my dog's head a coating of nasty powder (she is always at my side when I cook) and getting tired arms and bored before even finished with one edge of the three-loaf project. I convinced myself that it was improper pan preparation that caused the burning (not, for instance, the fact that my oven is half-sized and more suited to cakes and breads of the EZ Bake miniature variety) and went back to the store for more supplies. I baked another three with my New Amazing Pan Preparation technique, and of course they came out burnt again. I cut off the edges, Martha Stewart be damned, and served them up without anyone even noticing the trim job. Sometimes I worry about strange things. How is it I can attend a function with my shirt half unbuttoned and not bat an eye, but if the bread crusts are a little singed I lose sleep at night?

The rest of my cooking this Thanksgiving was similarly on the edge of acceptable, but that's usually the case with most of my non-holiday creations too. I am famous for mixing up teaspoons with tablespoons, realizing after I'd baked everything that I'd only doubled half of the ingredients for the recipe, forgetting the last batch of cookies and letting them char into ashes while I was distracted by a speck of dust in the other room. This year I put far more pepper in my broccoli and cheese casserole than was proper (I liked it but my aunt made that "whoooo" noise that signals impending bad things). I tried to bake the artichoke dip at 350 degrees when the oven should have been at 400, leaving it in for twice as long and hoping it would bubble up and brown like it was supposed to (it didn't even get close, but luckily was still tasty).

Stir-fry dishes, that I can do. Anything that involves 5-10 minutes of my time from start to finish will get my full, undivided attention. 15 minutes, you're pushing it. God help us all if I ever have to do Thanksgiving on my own!

posted by LadyJay @ 4:14 PM