The monkey made me do it

Slight rant about that internet thing (beware)

There's one little thing I'd like to say to all of the men online looking to make new friends (using whatever definition of that phrase you choose, from booty to actual friendship):

HOW THE HELL DO YOU EXPECT TO GET ANY SORT OF POSITIVE RESPONSE WHEN YOU'RE THROWING THE SAME GAME THAT EVERY OTHER SINGLE MAN IN THE UNIVERSE HAS THROWN AT US EVER SINCE WE STARTED BEING NOTICED BY YOUR MISGUIDED GENDER?!

Sorry about the yelling.

I'm getting sick and tired of all of the idiotic game getting tossed around at me, and much less likely to respond in a positive manner when I get twenty different "I think you should see me naked" e-mails. The worst I've found (even beyond the inane "Hey let's have sex!" ones) are the ones that are attempting some sort of psychological manipulation and assuming that all women are meek little biddies whose overwhelming lack of self-esteem will lead them to prove themselves to whoever comes a-challenging. For example, "I think you're kinda cute, in a way.". "You look okay, but that pic kind of makes your arms look fat. Send me a better one." "I need to see a better pic of your boobs if you want me to say you're pretty." (These are a little misleading because they're all spelled properly.)

The truth is, any woman who is even marginally attractive has been getting hit on by a seemingly endless succession of men ever since she got her boobs. We've heard a wide variety of lines, humored a million bad jokes and attempts at clever introductions, and learned ways to kindly and not-so-kindly turn away men without overtly bruising their egos. I realize that it takes a measure of bravado to approach someone that you don't know and start talking to them, but the consideration I give to men who do this in real life (such as never turning down a dance invitation when salsa dancing, no matter who asks) is not extended to the internet, where saying "Hi" takes a few anonymous key strokes and a mouse click. What the men don't seem to realize is that we see through their lines and are sick of smiling and politely turning them away. I'm almost to the point of bringing out a full e-smackdown. grr.

And for the guys who want an actual friendship (which in the online terminology means that they want to go on one date before screwing - you know, because they care about getting to know you), I'm getting tired of only being asked what I do for a living. For one, it's kind of hard to explain without showing the actual website (which is more info than I'm comfortable to give for most people), and also it gives a handy-dandy stereotype for them to label me with. In a culture where most people work for money to support their hobbies, what does it really matter what the work is? Granted, I like my job but don't really often consider it to be the most interestng or important thing that I do.

Basically, if you're not comfortable enough with your own personality to come at me without any pretense or prefabricated "hey, aren't I original" line, don't come at all.

posted by LadyJay @ 9:40 AM