The monkey made me do it

The ball is NOT SOFT!!

In keeping with the new Van-Halen-life-simplification movement I'm trying to start, I have come to a resolution:

I don't need to keep trying to be good at softball.

This could be applied to most sports in general (in fact, it has already been applied to anything involving a Frisbee) but I'm not quite that far along in the movement yet. I'm taking "Jump" baby steps.

There was a softball tourney last weekend for charity that I signed up for, supporting my friends and stating outright that I hadn't played anything involving a bat and glove since approximately 1992. I don't think they heard me. I went to one practice before our 7 games and was so mystified by the whole glove concept (they make your hand ENORMOUS and yet I still had trouble catching things) and the rules of the game (still don't understand 'em) that their placement of me at second base threatened to blow my tiny little mind. Because, from what I understand, the second baseman is supposed to catch things. I don't know what they're supposed to do with them once caught.

The day of the tourney came, and after one game of me shrieking and ducking when the ball came at my head (I'm not a girlie-girl, I just really don't appreciate very hard things coming at my head. Also, the first hit I tried to catch nailed me in the boob HARD so I became slightly unwilling to catch the fast ones after that.), my teammates relocated me to the catcher position. Remember, please, that I cannot catch. With bare hands, yes, but with my glove-of-mysteries, no.

It was a long 7 games.

The nice thing is that with my designer-y hand/eye coordination, I can hit very well. That almost saved my softball reputation, except that I constantly manage to hit only straight back to the pitcher or directly to the first baseman. Lots of outs. I got on base twice (did I mention there were 7 games?) but never scored.

Softball now joins the ranks of "Things I Do Not Need To Be Good At", which includes (besides frisbee): the pottery wheel, the Hustle, long division, long jumping, pronouncing "statistics" (though over the weekend I discovered I can do it while affecting a Sean Connery accent - who knew?), knitting, and small talk.

posted by LadyJay @ 2:40 PM