The monkey made me do it

Hoo boy

I knew I was treading on unstable ground when I decided to bathe the pups last night, a full three days before their cleanliness was actually needed. I also got a new vaccuum, and the combination of uncomfortable situations (dampness, loud noises) left me securely on the canine bad side. To be fair, they still want to cuddle and give doggie smooches - the "bad side" for Roo and Monkey means that Roo only brings me 3 tennis balls during the course of the morning instead of his usual 18, and Monkey refused to sit by my side with her head on my knee while I was drying my hair (instead she lay down in the same location).

On a normal morning I simply open the door to our shared backyard and let the pups roam while I shower. This morning I did the usual, but when stepping out of the shower I heard Rooster give a few booming barks and then a metal clinking sound and then ominous silence. I threw on my robe and ran out into the backyard, only to see his curly tail disappear down the road. Luckily, when I ran back inside to get shoes I also took a couple seconds to put pants on. He led me two blocks up the hill (he KNOWS when he is in trouble and has never been the best at ending his beloved self-guided tours of various areas) and then back down to the offleash park, finally allowing me to catch him by loudly pretending that I was going to open the gate so he could go inside. Sucker.

What made the morning extra-special was that not only was I running around in 40-ish degree weather with sopping wet hair, I also had on mismatched workout pants, trashed tennis shoes that I'd smashed the heel to put on (saved lace-tying time), and a ratty men's robe that I love to wear during the winter because it's long and wraps approximately 4.7 times around me like a big blanket with sleeves. AND the dog walkers were out at the park, which meant that along with all my neighbors heading out for work, I was viewed in this state by approximately 20 people. Most of whom I will see again, and often.

Now I'm sneezing, and was late for work, and am 90% sure that whatever it was that Rooster found to roll in during his tour (of COURSE he found something stinky) is now being rubbed into the upholstery of my chairs, sofas, and spread liberally over my once-clean carpet.

I should send this out to everyone who is currently trying to buy their children a cute "Christmas puppy". Along with a warning that they (any puppy) will bring you presents that you do not like (guar-an-TEED).

posted by LadyJay @ 10:20 AM