Roostercized
I am of the opinion that those big exersize balls are the bane of modern gym life, and have been designed solely to make their users look like some sort of bizarre hybrid between the woodpecker dipper-birds and um... dorks. Sorry, ran out of mental images. The people at my gym who use them without exception have stone serious faces and official branded workout clothes, and you can almost hear their little brains saying, "This is not bizarre. Everyone is doing it. I don't look ridiculous trying to roll this ball up and down a wall with my back." By the end of the work out I could swear their mantra is "I'M COOL! I'M COOL! YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS OF MY BALL AND MY COOLNESS! I HATE ALL OF YOU! I'M GOING TO SQUASH YOU WITH MY GIANT PLASTIC SPHERE OF PAIN!"Of course I got one, secondhand (honest - no way I'd buy one), and it's been sitting in storage for the past year. I inflated it last week mostly just to see if I could, and soon had a big silver waste of space bouncing around my bedroom. It sat for a long while, but a couple of days ago I decided to try the sit-up thing. Why not, since my experiments trying to turn it into a hobbity horse weren't working (stupid handle doesn't stick without stupid high-strength glue and completely ignored my attempts at attachment via gum and double-stick tape). I looked at the directions and followed the lead of the blonde girl with legwarmers, laying with the ball directly under my lower back, knees bent, feet on the floor, and the rest of my body parallel to the ground.
I got one sit-up wobbily accomplished when Rooster burst into the room to see what was going on. He tilted his head confusedly at the sight of me so precariously balanced, then trotted up and put his head on my stomach so I could pet him. When he did this (did I mention one of his nicknames is Big Head?), he threw me completely off balance and suddenly my feet were off the floor and my head was rolling back. I whooped and started laughing, and he rolled me over to the side of the ball, tail whipping with excitement at having found the Best Toy EVER. His chin flung me all over the place until I finally got one hand on the bed frame and grabbed his head with the other. I thought I'd managed to gracefully exit the Tilt-a-Whirl, but then Roo moved slightly and I fell flat on my side while the ball bounced off to the other end of the room.
Need I say the ball is no longer with us, and Rooster is the only one mourning.
posted by LadyJay @ 10:46 AM
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