The monkey made me do it

Spare a handful of exact change?

I was on my way into Lowe's last night to buy some cup hooks and tarp clips (you know, the norm) when a nice looking man approached me and said hello. I said hi back and noticed that he was a little frantic, and the following conversation ensued:

Dude: (all in one long rambling sentence) Please don't be scared or anything, I'm not trying to rob you...
Me: (under his rambling) I'm not scared
Dude: ...I got a job and stuff (flashes large keychain with YMCA symbol), I'm not homeless and I can't believe I'm coming up to a stranger like this but...
Me: S'ok
Dude: ...my car over there (gestures wildly) is out of gas and they won't let me put it in a milk jug. (deep breath) Do you have a gas can I can borrow?
Me: No, I don't have one in my car. There's a Schuck's Auto store right across the corner...
Dude: Yeah I know but if I get one of those then I won't have any money for gas. (here he gulps, looks down) Do you have $1.87?
Me: (giggles)
Dude: No, man! It's not funny! I can't believe I'm doing this!
Me: No, no... it's not you it's the $1.87
Dude: (now frowning at the ground and fidgeting, starts mumbling again) This is crazy I have a home...
Me: Hold on... (reached in my pocket, found $4 and pulled it out) Here.
Dude: Thanks very much... (more mumbling as he speed-walks towards his car)

Now, what's significant about this is that I NEVER give money to panhandlers and in fact have been known to go off on people that fall for their tricks (particularly since most panhandlers are not homeless and actually damage the reputation of homeless folk), but there was something about this guy that made me think "You have been close to situations like this and isn't that how you would sound if you were out of gas with no can in a bad location?" It is quite possible that he was telling the truth and that I did a good deed.

It is also possible that I got completely duped and that the $1.87 was a random enough number chosen to trick people into giving change. In which case, I was duped royally (well, "royally" would probably be more in the $20 range so maybe I'll just stick with "espresso-price stupid").

In either case, I plan on giving $5 this weekend to the real-live homeless shelter I'm going to be working at, just to counterbalance this questionable act of generosity. Or add on to it, however the truth of the matter falls out.

(I'm excited about the volunteer gig this weekend. Usually when you volunteer at shelters you're either serving food or doing manual labor without time to interact with any of the residents (for their safety, I guess), but this time we're doing background checks and will spend a few hours in conversation! I'm sure many good stories will be coming)

(The best story I have right now is the guy who would come in early when I was regularly serving dinners at the Union Gospel Mission on Sunday nights. Since no one else was allowed in the room, we asked if he was breaking the rules and needed to be shown out. The guys in charge said that he was a special case, since he thought he was invisible and if you confronted him he got really upset. You know, since you could see him and all. He wore a Seahawks knit cap, big dark sunglasses, ratty clothes, and has a beard like Santa Claus - so if you see him on the street, don't look at him. He's invisible)

posted by LadyJay @ 4:26 PM